Adulting? Umm NO

I recently starting working three days a week at the vet down from my house.  Oh boy is it a crazy job.  Working three days a week while also being a full time college student can be challenging and I'm only ONE WEEK in!  I've always loved being busy and having things to do, but this has throw me a little.  My 18th birthday was January fourth and the stigma with that has scared me a little.  I'm an adult now and being an adult is scary.

School is hard, working is stressful, what if I fail, what if I mess up a prescription, what if I do something wrong.  My life is full of "what if's" and worrying about messing up or failing.  To me it's not really living.  Constantly worrying about my life isn't very fun.  So that leaves me with a thought of...

"what should I do?"

I'm not giving up on school or work.  So I guess I continue to chug along.  Which to me is a big part of adulthood. You may not always like where you're at but sometimes you have to focus on your living and not your life to get to a place where your state of life is truly amazing.

 Life is ever changing and you must change and grow with it. Nothing of any great value will come easily, you must work for it.  Which sucks so much because we often times feel overwhelmed with all the struggles and challenges life throws at us.

I'm at a crossroads in my life, stuck in between going to school getting a degree and following the paved path, or quitting school and devoting me life to mission work and helping others in anyway possible.  One will pleases my parents and my bank account in the long run.  But the other seems so adventurous, such a risk that could give off a huge payoff.  But the risk and unknowns may outweigh the chance of success.  The so called "paved path" can also lead to my end game in a much safer less risky way.  But for the time being it leaves me in a life where I'm making a living and not a life.  But is this simply just a means to my end game? Just a small hiccup to my life's dream destination?

Not everything is handed to you on a silver platter, heck most things if not everything isn't.  But that doesn't mean you can't take it and form it into something beautiful with a whole lot of blood, sweat, and tears.  Being at a crossroad with the same destination or "dream" but with two very different paths is hard to choose between.  Especially when the paths are both equally hard one is just "safer" than the other.

Being an adult can be hard, but the pay off is mind-blowing. Don't let a few hiccups discourage you.  Aging is a blessing that most people are denied.  Never forget that you aren't entitled to be here, one day something could happen and change your life forever.  Live out your dreams, grow old because someone could have used the chance you wasted.  Some would die for the life you have, the life you may be wasting.  Take chances, jump right in, forget to test the waters and go by faith.  Adult like a boss.  Adult like the bad A you are! Go out and spread the awesome you, the one you may not have found inside yourself yet.

Annaliese~